QA133 QUESTION: I’m running into trouble lately. As a Helper, I’ve been assigned to work with a person who is very nervous, very loud, and has a fantastic forcing current. Now, I may have one of two reactions. Number one, I may react in the same way, and number two, I may become one of his tools and be confirmed into somebody with no ego and suffering a lot. Could you give me advice?

ANSWER: If this has come up at this particular time so strongly, you can be quite sure that this is exactly where your Pathwork now leads you. This is exactly an area where you need to work on. Now, in the first place, your fear of a strong dominating person has to be looked at from the following point of view.

You probably already know and have already explored the possibility of your own need for your strong will and desire to dominate. But in addition there is another feeling there, another attitude there that is also very important to investigate, and that is your desire, in a different way, of course, but nevertheless your desire to be dominated. Are you aware of that? {Yes}

It is this desire that creates so many conflicting feelings in you. For what is it you expect of such a domination? Again, there are many answers which are all equally true. The first and most obvious will be naturally the desire not to be responsible, not to have to make decisions, the desire to be taken care of, the desire to be a child again and have your parents take proper care of you, without the hardship of life.

There is another motivation for this desire, which is a precarious pleasure to submit, a pleasure to be passive and helpless. This may go into the childish sexuality that has to be explored. Therefore, of course, there is fear and there is resentment and there is shame involved in this.

Therefore, this whole syndrome of fear, shame, desire, and resentment creates a block. It is this block that makes you either be attractive to situations of such a nature or that brings out in others, particularly strongly, this face. Or it makes you even imagine such a thing when it is not in the least the case, because it is your threat of it simultaneous with your desire for it that makes you often see what is not there. And you lose sight of reality.

Now, underneath this whole thing that I’m just explaining – and you know it may take months and perhaps even longer than that until organically through your work you will find this naturally, and then you will remember these words – lies a specific negativity that has to be found. It is your own special brand of negativity, a negative attitude toward the world, toward life – there is no self, that you are bound, you feel yourself somewhat bound hand and feet. Is there any inkling of such a feeling in your consciousness now, at times? {Yes}

That is it. Now, when you feel this, bring this out in your work. Realize that this fear of being bound like this, almost paralyzed, has to be explored, and you have to see to what is your particular negativity in order to be able to see that this is a wrong conclusion, that the world is not such a way, that your relationship to life is not that way, but you believe it is that way.

Because you believe it is that way, what I said before applies. Because of that you feel you need to be dominated, because you yourself are unable – with bound hand and feet one is, indeed, unable. So you wish for, you look for, a strong, dominating person and resent the strong, dominating person, because naturally you would rather want to be free.

But if you feel hopeless that the chains will ever be taken from you, then you must have these conflicting feelings – desire to be dominated and even trying to derive some pleasure from this unpleasurable situation and at the same time resenting it.

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