QA190 QUESTION: I have a question from somebody who doesn’t want to ask himself. “Around eight years of age, I had several injuries, mostly on the right side. I fell from a tree, and I needed eighteen stitches in my thigh. The others included cutting my eyeball on a metal table, falling and cutting my chin, and being bitten by a dog, all requiring stitches. At thirteen, following an injury in rugby, the doctors discovered a jarred sciatic nerve and a thinned disc. Since then I’ve injured my right ankle and had a form of eczema of the right hand, explained as possible nervous tension. I would like to continue playing sports, but doctors have advised against it. Recently, I have felt that these injuries, and injuries I continue to have by playing sports, are psychologically brought out, possibly by lack of attention, although I cannot connect it. Can you help me?”
ANSWER: Yes. I would say that in the deeper consciousness of this person with whom I am trying to establish a contact – which is not so easy when the question is not asked directly by the person, but it can, at times, be done. I can feel through the vibrations and the various energy fields which obstruct this tuning in and perceive the following condition here. It must be said, however, before I continue, that these perceptions are only vague outlines that have to be filled in by the person himself, of course, by contacting these deeper layers.
What I perceive here is that there is in the deeper consciousness of this entity, a tremendous fear of disintegration, and a fear of annihilation that is more than just a fear of something that will happen against the will or against one’s own determination. It is almost a will behind it, “If I cannot obtain such and such or so and so, I will disintegrate myself,” as a forcing current, as it were.
This is not easily accessible and it requires a lot of work to remove the outer layers of defenses and pretenses, until spontaneously the inner being can manifest and express this attitude, which is the message – if I may use this word in this way – into this life of this person. “I must have, or else. And if I do not get, I will.” And this becomes, then, an alienated layer of pseudo-reality in which it really begins to happen.
If the work of this individual goes in the right direction, it should not be too difficult to make this attitude conscious. Only when it is thus conscious can the attitude be changed, of course – not otherwise. It is quite correct if he states it is psychologically conditioned – but then everything is. I would not even use this word. I would say on a deeper layer of being, of self-expression, this is what exists. That is my answer.