QA197 QUESTION: I’ve been experiencing for several weeks a state of extreme contraction, and of being withdrawn. I can’t seem to break out of it. I’ve also come in touch with a small flash of my hot anger deep in my belly. I now realize the rest of my being has frozen around this to hold it in place. I also realize that instead of expressing my anger, I dribble out hostility, especially with the people I’m close to. I long for the feelings of openness and loving that I never can seem to sustain for very long.
ANSWER: In order to sustain love, the anger and the hate must be fully accepted. For that you have made beginnings in this. But you can go deeper – you must go deeper for that. You must go further and have the courage to express it in all its irrationality.
The most important thing is to make the transition from the anger that is projected where you have to be right about it or the anger that is irrational, where you take full responsibility for your feeling, regardless of what others do or what you think they do.
Take that anger upon yourself; give vent to it, more and more and more. As you do this, as you commit yourself to doing this, you can simultaneously commit yourself and sustain love and good feelings. Pray and know that you can do this without being destructive; you can do it constructively; you can do it not acting it out; you can do it beautifully.