QA188 QUESTION: This morning I recognized how I was still blaming the world and circumstances for my unhappiness. I got through that level of thinking and accepted my own responsibility for my life, but the despair is still in me. Is that because I am still relying purely on my own ego and not on divine wisdom to help me through?
ANSWER: You see, my dear, the despair you feel when you discover such a thing, is the real problem, because what does this mean, this despair? This despair really says, “I should not be in my present state. I should be already in another state.” And that is precisely the problem!
It is foolish and unnecessarily painful, and yet most human beings find themselves in exactly this position. It can be likened to a young child hating itself because it is not old and grown up. You see, you have to accept that not all of you can obey like a dog who obeys a command by the master.
You have to accept there are inner processes in you which do not respond immediately, or if they do at one time, they are bound to go back to the last state, to the previous state, to the fundamental state you try to struggle out of. This will happen unless you accept this state and meet it with trust, trusting the processes of creation, which include you and even the most stubborn, frightened, negative part in you.
If this emotional level is not able to immediately leave this state behind, trust that it will come around – accept it and observe and be kind to it. Do you understand me? That is much more harmful than whatever else you reject yourself for.