219 GUIDE COMMENT: Perhaps, at this opportunity, it will be very helpful if we work on particular traits and aspects that you present to me, so that I will show their positive, beautiful essence. In that way you will learn that there is nothing in you that is in itself rejectable and unacceptable. There is only distortion.
No matter how negative, destructive, evil, dark, bad something may be, it is but a distortion of something beautiful. Even you, my friends, who have been working on this Path for some time and profoundly so, forget this truth – or do not know how to apply it. You cannot quite make the specific connection.
For that purpose, it will be very beneficial if you present me with some traits in which you can see only the distorted, bad manifestation and not the original, beautiful essence. In understanding the specific, positive, original components, you will find new strength and impetus to go through the smaller and bigger tunnels on your path and light more candles.
QUESTION: I judge others all the time. What is the positive, original component in that?
ANSWER: Apart from the obvious projection of your very harsh judgement against yourself that you do not wish to acknowledge to the extent it exists, the original positive quality in being judgmental is a great capacity to distinguish, to differentiate. It is the power to recognize, to be one-pointedly aware.
If you use this ability creatively and constructively, it is obviously a wonderful asset without which a person would be incomplete. So you see, nothing, as such, must be thrown out, destroyed, negated. It must be transmuted. You all notice on this Path that the more honestly and constructively you see the truth in yourself, the keener your perception of others becomes, but in a very different way from the judgmental attitude you mentioned.
Use this asset on yourself and others, but not with the kind of hostility and negation you now practice still too often. The truth must prevail with forgiveness and understanding, with a readiness to understand deeper connections so as not to judge in an ultimate and rejecting way. Transform negative judgement into recognition.
QUESTION: What is this trait I have in which nothing can ever get to me. There is a defiance and a spite.
ANSWER: Defiance, spite, stubbornness, rigidity are all derivatives of the same blockage. Their positive, original seed is the quality of being centered within, being firm, self-assertive, standing your own ground, being secure in your own self, rather than being constantly swayed and influenced by others and thus losing autonomy.
My friends, it is very important that you recognize the positive origin behind the distortion, but at the same time, beware of using this knowledge in order to justify, whitewash and thus perpetuate the distorted version of it. Use this knowledge so that you do not reject and eject the whole thing.
The purpose of this explanation is to teach you that there is nothing in you that is not originally divine. Learn that nothing must be denied and ejected. But the differentiation must be made between its original and its distorted version.
QUESTION: I have a very strong lack of faith and do not want to believe in God.
ANSWER: This is a distortion of the healthy, realistic attitude regarding self-responsibility and self-dependence, of knowing that there is no authority that will do it for you. It is a distortion of the truth that you are a self-responsible agent, which in reality is not, of course, in opposition to the deeper, wiser God-self the ego must surrender to.
It is this divine self that alone can bring about true selfhood, autonomy, independence. You have a stake in your lack of faith and in remaining with the distortion. Whatever the nature of this stake, it must be unearthed. For whenever you have a stake in not wanting to know the truth, you shut out the light.
One of the most important aspects to learn on your path is the ability to open all doors. You should be aware that you deliberately wish to keep the doors closed. Always assume that you may be mistaken, your view may be wrong, the truth may be different.
After you are willing to let go of your defensiveness for the sake of truth, after you let go of the tightness and fearfulness of your opinion, you will find out whether you happened to be right about the issue in the first place. If it then turns out to be true, you will come back to the same knowledge, but in a very different way.
I am not only speaking about the particular question you asked me, for God indeed exists. I speak generally about the tightness of holding on to a belief that is so often totally mistaken and distorted. Nothing makes you as unhappy as your own untruthful belief.
QUESTION: What is the positive aspect of a fearful, anxious state?
ANSWER: Fear, in general, is a distortion of caution, an awareness of something, somewhere, being amiss. Specifically, in the human state, anxiety is always a sign of repression. Such a state is a gauge for you that tells you that there is something you do not wish to see and that makes you anxious.
So anxiety is really not even a distortion of something positive – it is positive, in the sense that it is a signpost pointing to where you wish to remain ignorant about yourself. Whenever you are in anxiety, know this clearly, for it is the truth. Set out with full commitment to the truth, to find out what your denial is specifically.
Go into deep meditation, preferably in the presence and with the help of friends. Throw it all in, let go of everything that you hold on to. Let the energy of the meditation of your friends also help you, and then work it out together. You will find it and thus light new candles. That choice always exists. Denial of the truth of the matter is what creates anxiety. This may apply to many things.
QUESTION: I have a stake in being rebellious, in going against authority and even against what I know to be the truth. What could possibly be positive in the origin of this destructiveness?
ANSWER: The original aspect, before distortion sets in, is a spirit of courage and independence, a fighting spirit against submission to conformity. Only in its distorted version does it become a blindly driven, senseless destructiveness.
QUESTION: What is the positive origin in my tendency to avoid taking responsibility for my life, my tendency to avoid?
ANSWER: In its original, divine manifestation it is the quality of letting go and letting flow, of not letting the ego-control take over and blot out the eternal flow of being, of not being cramped and tight and overactive with the ego forces. It connotes giving in and surrendering to the flow of being.
It is important that the knowledge I give you here should not be used to avoid facing what is actually negative and destructive. Do not blindly apply it to distortions of distortions of distortions and make a game of it. I give you this knowledge to perceive that there is nothing bad in itself, except what defense and error create temporarily.
QUESTION: What is the positive origin of playing the victim game?
ANSWER: The distortion is self-exoneration at the expense of making others guilty, whose victim you profess to be. The truth is the longing for the perfect state you contain in your nucleus, which is not a fixed perfectionism, but the ever moving, changing perfection of the innermost soul.
QUESTION: What is behind the defense and compulsion of telling jokes?
ANSWER: Life in the universe is joyous, pleasurable – it is light-hearted, it is humor. Humor is a significant divine aspect. There cannot be beauty and love without humor.
QUESTION: Competitiveness? Self-centeredness – wanting to be the center of attention?
ANSWER: Self-centeredness is a direct distortion of seeking your inner center. If you are centered within your divine self, then vanity and egotism stop. Vanity and egotism exist if the search for the divine nucleus is applied to the separated ego. Ambitiousness and competitiveness are a distortion of the inner movement to create the best that you can be.
But again, when put into the service of the separated ego, it becomes an endeavor that sets oneself into opposition to another self. In reality, on the divine level of inner truth this does not exist. All can be their best without interfering with one another. In its original it is, “How can I be my potential best?” In its distortion it manifests as, “How can I be better than others?”
QUESTION: Abuse of power, of a position of authority?
ANSWER: Distortion of true leadership. True leadership is taking responsibility, paying the price for leadership. Distortion of it wants the glory of it, the advantages – in a selfish, vain way.
QUESTION: I can’t imagine anything positive in the tendency to remove yourself, being “cool,” pretending to be different?
ANSWER: The divine original aspect is self-containment, self-sufficiency, impartiality, serenity. In every healthy life there must exist a harmonious balance between sharing intimately with others in a dynamic exchange, and being in solitude so as to refuel from within. They must coexist in utter emotional comfort. When one is lacking, the other must also be lacking, until balance is reestablished.
If you are frightened by intimate contact, you will seek seclusion. This will then be something lonely and maudlin, rather than the beautiful version in its original state, which is a time of refueling, a time of going into yourself, of making contact with your inner being, of communing with your inner and outer nature. Then the fruits of this self-containment can be given out again. That would be the right balance.