49 QUESTION: Would you please explain the reason for the tiredness of many people, especially in spring?

ANSWER: Tiredness is always a sign that the life force has been misused in the organism of the soul. Tiredness results from suppressing the destructive forces of the soul, barring them from the light of consciousness which can direct them into the right channels until they finally dissolve.

If hostility and aggression are suppressed, if fears are suppressed and not faced, if hatred is ignored because hate does not correspond to your ideal and makes you feel guilty, the self is destroyed. The self-destruction takes different forms and creates different symptoms in different organisms. Tiredness is one such symptom.

Spring is the season when nature revives. The life force penetrates everything that grows: plants, trees, grass, flowers, fruits, vegetables, the animal world, even the mineral world. And it should be the same in the human being.

When a human being is in tune with the universe, when the soul is growing rather than stagnating, spring revives and strengthens. But it cannot do so where obstructions exist. An obstruction is created by an element foreign to the divine life force. Self-deception amounts to untruth, and untruth is hostile to the life force. Suppression is always self-deception; therefore, when self-deception or suppression exists, the life force cannot regenerate you.

On the contrary, it will affect you adversely because something like a short circuit occurs when two opposing forces clash in the soul. The life force wants to come into you, and also out of you, for deep down in your soul exists the whole universe, and therefore a fountain of life force. But the life force cannot fill your being, because the opposing forces bottle it up.

Without suppression and self-deception, spring would revive you. Fatigue is a symptom that you are suppressing knowledge and recognitions from yourself. Let fatigue be an incentive to redoubling your intention and effort to break down your resistance to facing yourself. For only then can you truly become whole and healthy in body, soul and spirit, in your feelings and in your mind. Be grateful for any symptom that shows your inner state.

91 QUESTION: Why do I feel so exhausted all the time? I have seen doctors and they don’t find any physical reason.

ANSWER: This condition applies to many people, indeed. One of the general reasons – and it certainly is the case with you – is that a great deal of emotions are repressed. You crush not only destructive emotions, which you dare not face and acknowledge within yourself so as to come to terms with them, but also valid and constructive desires and aims.

You do not heed them out of a general fear of disapproval and a lack of belief in the validity of your aims. You feel that just because you want it, it cannot be valid. The repression of these two sets of emotions consumes a great amount of energy. The energy you thus lose produces a negation of life. There is a feeling of futility about life, of hopelessness, a fear of coping with life’s difficulties. It might be said that the tiredness comes from this, but this would be an over-simplification. The chain reaction goes a little further.

In other words, because of repression of negative emotions as well as of positive goals, a futility, lack of self-confidence, and therefore the fear of coping with life’s difficulties, exists. The tiredness is a result of it. Also, the futility is a result of the tiredness, the tiredness is a result of the futility – and both are a result of repression.

QUESTION: How can I overcome it?

ANSWER: My dear, there is only one way, and that is an extensive search of self-finding, self-realization, facing oneself, followed by the reconstruction of certain personality traits. This is not easy, but it is the only way. There is no quick and easy answer.

QA184 QUESTION: I’ve been feeling very, very tired physically. This really kills any kind of feeling of being angry. I don’t get enough rest and I just seem to always calm myself. What causes this?

ANSWER: Yes. Now, there is, of course, as you already imply and sense, a deliberateness about this. The deliberateness is caused by the feeling that if you are tired, certain obligations and demands need not be met by you, which you are afraid of meeting. There is a fear of your feelings, your good feelings.

If you’re tired, you cannot give these good feelings. If you’re tired, you cannot make certain inner and outer steps that would expand your life. It is very important for you to really get in touch with that thought inside of you and face the deliberateness, and consequently be able to experience and articulate the fear of letting your feelings flow out. Do you understand what I mean?

QUESTION: Yes, I understand and I’ve understood that before.

ANSWER: Yes. Well, you understood it in your mind but you’re still shutting it off somehow from your feelings. You are not yet sufficiently in touch with the fear of your feelings. I will also say that a lot of physical work is necessary for you. Maybe not enough has been done in this direction.

The mental processes are there. You understand it all mentally. But you do not yet feel it enough in your body. You do not feel the sensation of the pleasure and how you stop it. You do not see yourself doing this. You do not see yourself denying it. You do not feel it; you know it mentally. Do you understand what I mean? {Yes}

All the mental work will become much more integrated when you now pay more attention to this aspect and take in and use the wholeness of yourself, the feelings and the thoughts within your body, the spirituality within your feelings and body and thoughts. And when I say spirituality, I actually mean the spiritual significance of what your body, what your mind, and what your emotions do.

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