QA233 QUESTION: I am unhappy about living in New York. I feel a strong pull to go back to my own country and I feel like if it wasn’t for the Path, I would have gone back a long time ago.
ANSWER: Your unhappiness has nothing to do with the country you live in. Your unhappiness is your inner country. The pull back is your hope that you can find fulfillment and happiness without traveling through these inner spaces. And that is the only answer that is meaningful.
You have to realize this in order to protect yourself from your illusion, the illusion in the way you presented this dilemma. Then you can make a meaningful commitment to your own path, and go through the inner country in which you are unhappy and create a happy inner country.
QA242 QUESTION: I have to go back to Holland soon for a while and I was wondering if you can say anything about the meaning this has for me? Also, whenever I leave a place or people which I feel are dear to me, I get in touch with what seems to me like an exaggerated pain and sadness and feeling of loss. So I wonder if you could say anything.
ANSWER: Yes. I will answer the second part of the question, which will immediately go to the first part of the question. The meaning is that there is a deep-seated belief in you, an image if you will, that whatever you have that is valuable, you must lose it – whatever beautiful thing you may attain, you cannot maintain it. And this is a very deeply structured belief – so deeply that for many incarnations you had to experience indeed, exactly that, because that is how you have built it up.
Now, however, you have already gained sufficient growth and development that you no longer need to go through exactly that belief. You go through it in a minor form, which manifests as a temporary separation. Now that you are so much more open and so much more capable of exploring the voice that was before so obscure that you could hardly translate it into coherent words, now you can do this.
You can then, immediately, change the pronouncement that you make on that level. And you can then use this temporary separation as the residual manifestation of this old image. Then you can, at the same time, use it very productively so as to oust the hopelessness, the nostalgia, the morbidity that is in you, and build up a joyous belief.
At the same time, build up a positive aggression in your soul, where you say, “I will return and I will use this time to return from the most positive motivations within me to fulfill my destiny, to expand my life, to come there a second time in a very new and different frame of mind.” You can use this time to explore this image and to truly dissolve it and to no longer believe in it.
QA251 QUESTION: I am planning a move to California shortly. I am confused as to my real motivations. Is the move a running away from the Pathwork and my process, or is it part of my task to make this change? Also, if I do go and it is right for me to go, what relation will I have to the Pathwork from there as an individual and in terms of expanding the Pathwork to the West Coast of America?
ANSWER: If it is indeed your task to bring the Pathwork to California, it is much too early to do so. If this is your task, it will reveal itself later and it will then be organic without any doubts in you. At the present time, your motivations are indeed much more an escape from intimacy, closeness, and change in you. You fear this and doubt yourself to be able to accomplish it if you put your very best in it.
Your leaving now is like a wrenching away from important work you have begun and that you fear finishing, as it were, due to self-doubt. You put very hard standing and demands on yourself that are so fixed that it is almost impossible to live up to them. It is precisely that which blocks you from following through on your inner commitment to your higher self.
You are not in the position to continue this work without this specific help, either with yourself or with others, as a carrier of the Pathwork. You need more inner liberation, more self-acceptance, more inner balance, more organically established faith in yourself and in your God and in your potentials. This will come if you give yourself to this work without inner pressure.
All outer details will fall rightly into place at the right time and in the right way. Your place now is here where you have begun and where your work is not yet finished. Whatever is in store for you for the future will manifest clearly and without conflict when the time is ripe. Do not fret, you are guided and blessed.
QA253 QUESTION: For more than a year the idea has been growing in us of living in Holland one day in order to actively be involved in helping the Dutch Pathwork. Since we both would graduate from our training class next summer and also finish our Core training, we felt it to be right to leave in about a year from now. However, doubts have come up about our leaving that soon, or possibly, our leaving for Holland at all. I had an immediate strong rebellious reaction like: “When I want to go, I go; no one tells me what to do.” But I also had already denied for a while a voice that questioned our leaving at the set time. I didn’t want to hear it.
My partner and I also discovered several collusions in our plans. In Holland, I would give everything to her and get the controls and she would collapse. I would “get my manhood” and she would “find her receptivity.” I have the image of finding in Holland what I don’t find here. Specifically, I expect to pick up on my dance career in Holland. We both feel very shaken up and unclear right now as to what is right for us and when. We would like your opinion about the situation. And for my self specifically, is it still my task to work with dance and to perform, as I long for, or is this tremendous longing I feel for this a displacement? Is the specific task for both of us right here and do we blind ourselves to it?
ANSWER: My beloved friends, it is a common human practice to project the freedom from an inner problem onto another geographical place. The freedom you really long for can only come when you work out those very issues you mentioned, and a few other aspects that are directly and indirectly connected with them.
When this is the case, you will also know, without a shadow of a doubt, what your task is and where it lies at any given period of your life. I do not believe that it would be positive or helpful if I were to tell you “at such and such a time you should, or should not, go to this place or that.”
Your connection with the Dutch Pathwork is a natural given, but what form it will take must naturally and organically evolve – for both of you. The Dutch Pathwork itself very urgently needs to grow now on its own steam. There is enough material there – enough inborn assets – to warrant the self-emergence and leadership, growing from within its own process.
As to your dancing, my friend, of course you should give expression to this urge. But it may not be necessary or even be in accordance with your real, deeper longing that this be done in the traditional professional way, in terms of performing for the public, etcetera.
But I see that your dance company right here in this community has not terminated its task. It still has a lot to give, and I think that a new life will emerge from it after a while. Perhaps temporarily the emphasis has to go somewhere else so as to establish a fine new inner balance. But phases change, and if you are awake and aware and alert, due to continually removing your inner blocks, you will find that there will be a great harmony, also in regard to time and energy. It will all fall into place.
One more word about your task in Holland, since this is naturally so close to your heart. I can see in the timeless now an entirely new modality arising in which your task can combine both geographical areas in ways that will make a more frequent travel possible. This can happen without in the least disrupting your harmony, serenity or your roots, which are always basically and primarily in God – wherever that may lead you to on this Earth.
Do not worry or fret, both of you are deeply blessed and guided. Your work is needed and growing, and your spirit friends rejoice with you.