QA238 QUESTION: For the past two weeks, I’ve been working with someone on the Pathwork brochure. This morning all of the enlarged photographs and prints were stolen from my car. They were the only items that were stolen from the car, despite the fact that the entire vehicle was in a state of almost complete disarray. I have this feeling of pain and frustration and a sense of nagging guilt and responsibility; and somehow I can’t make any specific connections.
ANSWER: In the first place, I would say to you that that nagging guilt always exists in you, no matter what happens, no matter what you do. And it is, of course, one of the main hindrances in your life. It is extremely important – and this I say before answering directly the question about the dynamics of this incident, which I will come to in a minute – that you begin to see your guilt as the problem it is. And actively pray to shed it.
I will soon give a lecture [Lecture #240 Aspects of the Anatomy of Love: Self-Love, Structure, Freedom] on the importance of loving yourself, and on the intricacy of facing the lower self and yet loving yourself, and how difficult it seems to be for you human beings.
You get confused here. When you face your lower self, this triggers off and seems to justify your self-hate, so that when you are called upon to love and honor and respect yourself, you then need to deny the existence of the problems and distortions and negativities. That is a very serious impediment that you’re all struggling with; you’re all finding laboriously a balance.
Little by little, you gain this new ground where you can face yourself in truth – the worst in you. As you do that, you see that more self-esteem arises from this. Yet you also need the self-esteem to begin with, to some extent, in order to love yourself. What does this guilt mean?
It really means that you do not accept your human fallible, incomplete state. You have come with this task to purify whatever is incomplete in you. Accept and love the divine manifestation you are. Then it will be easier for you to also see your failings without losing your balance, without losing your ground of being, without losing your essential divinity.
Now I will come to the direct answer and try to shed a little light on the dynamics that are involved here. I might say that probably it will not be completely new what I will say here. You will probably all, at least to some extent, have some awareness of the many contradictory feelings that are involved here by all concerned.
Let me enumerate some of these feelings. There are, for example, feelings of doubt that this should be done at all. Some of the doubts have to do with not wanting to invite more people onto this Path. It frightens you; it makes you ill at ease and uncomfortable. Then there is another element in this doubt about putting out this paper, this brochure, as you call it.
Since there is, of course, still a considerable amount of ego and pride involved in what you want to present, you are ashamed of this pridefulness. In this shame, you lose the vision, and then believe that doing this must be a prideful, egotistical thing.
Now, this thought may not be so clear in your mind, but there is somehow a vague sense of reluctance, embarrassment, hesitation, or even guilt about doing this in the first place – as though the center would be guilty of this pride, simply by doing this. You are forgetting that something may not be a bad thing, even though negative motives may be also part of it.
Another aspect of negative feelings here is the strong, still-existing feelings of transference that create many contradictory emotions. On the one hand, you want to prove to the authority figures how good you are, how accomplished you are, that you really know something that they do not know now. You want to prove yourself superior.
Along with that are feelings of competition among each other. Along with this feeling of the need to impress the authority figures – since they are so important for you – you also have, of course, and this is nothing new, hate feelings for them. You do not want to give it to them. You want to withhold it from them. Where you feel you have the power to give them something, you want to punish them by not giving it to them.
You give them that power because you want them to give something to you. And I speak to all of you who are involved here. The importance that you give to them makes you also very critical of them. And in the criticalness, you then must be afraid that they will be equally critical with you, with what you present.
So you can see from this very brief outline of the conflicting feelings, how involved, how complicated, and how potent the underlying currents are that may almost make you wish – and it does make you wish at least to a degree – that this will never come through, so that you will be spared all the things you fear: that you will not be good enough; that the other one may be better; that you will be criticized; that you will be judged as prideful; that it will draw too many people if it is good; and if it is bad, you cannot stand the criticism that may arise from that.
So here you short circuit yourself. You create a countercurrent that paralyzes the flow. Now, this is not all there is to it. Of course, there is also very creative and positive input and that is manifest. But delays, frustrations, and barriers you encounter, are completely the result of the wish that you would not have to bring it across.
Perhaps it will not be so difficult for you to get in touch with and become aware of some of these thoughts. I may not say them in exactly the way you think them, but it amounts to, more or less, that. Is that clear?
QUESTION: Thank you very much, yes.
ANSWER: Now, perhaps I may add here you can help a great deal, not only the project but whatever your own problems are generally in life, by making these connections, by becoming aware of these feelings and thoughts and desires, and then dropping it, letting it all go.
It can be done quite easily with a meditation or commitment or prayer that completely gives over to the will of God, to that which is best, to give up the personal ego involvement with all its various and contradictory aims and motivations and desires, and just allow the divinity within to take over and forget about the personal ego stakes. The more you do this, the smoother everything will be.
Give up the personal pride of proving, criticizing, expectations, competitions and all these things, no matter how you rationalize them. Give over to the divine will and let it come from the inner source. That is my advice. I also say the blessing for this venture is here for you and you will perceive the blessing to the degree you decide to put these barriers aside. The less your personal ego is involved, the happier and the more blessed your activity, your taking part in this, will become. That is my answer.
QUESTION: I have a question in connection with what was just said. Can you tell me what you feel the purpose of such a brochure is?
ANSWER: Isn’t this quite obvious? {No} I think you’re not knowing the answer really implies a tremendous wall in you, because the answer is truly very obvious. When people who are interested want to know, they should know what it is – very plain, very simple. It should not be kept secret, and at the same time, it should not be forced on anyone.
But those who naturally come to this Path, who are guided to it, who are yearning for it, should be presented with a clear view. Your not knowing or understanding this obvious thing implies many blocks in you that are purely in the mind and that imply also a distortion in you. It would be much better if you could ask about your own distortions, or see them and present them so that you can receive help.
