QA157 QUESTION: Why is it as difficult for me to admit to No-currents as it is to reach for Yes-currents?
ANSWER: Well, because, you see, the one and the other are only two sides of the same coin. Both Yes and No are an integral part to life. And if the one is distorted, the other must be distorted. If the one is inhibited, the other must be inhibited.
As you said No in a distorted way, in a way that defied happiness, that resisted freedom and self-responsibility, so you could not say No. Therefore you said No where you should say Yes, and you said Yes where you should say No.
You could not say No in the sense of “I am an individual and I have my rights. And if anybody wants something of me that I do not want and that I do not freely choose, I have a right to say No.” That No can only be said when the false No has ceased – the No that is spiteful and resistant.
By the same token, Yes to happiness, Yes to pleasure, Yes to expansion, Yes to your own autonomy can be said only when the false Yes of submission is given up. That submissive Yes says Yes out of fear and out of self-betrayal and because you want something from someone else he is not willing to give you freely.
So you see, you have to look both into the right and the wrong No, and the right and the wrong Yes. Then you will be free to say the right No and the right Yes.
QA203 QUESTION: I’ve recently come in touch with this very spiteful self-will that I have. There’s a part of me that just meditates and prays and says I want to give it up. And that insistent, strong No just flies out of me. I have had a good spiritual experience and I know another way of being. Yet, that’s so much a part of me. What am I blocking to make me want to hang on to this?
ANSWER: I would say this to you. That for a long, long, long period of time – maybe much longer than the years in this life – you have denied the temporary truth of this spitefulness and destructiveness. You have, as you say yourself, only quite recently recognized and accepted this.
Now you may have to go through a period where you have to learn to accept this more. You must know the consequences, know what the price is, and stay with this for a while. And do not put this pressure on yourself to get out of it before you are even in it.
QUESTION: Even as it comes out, I am not allowing it.
ANSWER: Exactly.
QUESTION: I’m judging and handling and banging and playing games, and I won’t even accept its existence.
ANSWER: This is why I say you have to accept first. You cannot come out of anything you have not first fully accepted in a realistic way.
QA232 QUESTION: I made a lot of progress with my sexuality moving out, but there’s still a very strong No in me. Instead of having sense or meaning to it, it very often just says No.
ANSWER: That No is less now connected with hating or fearing or distrusting a man, although that aspect, of course, is familiar to you, along with your desire not to expose, risk, or give to him. But that is not the main thing here. The main thing is that there are certain negative attitudes in you that you are still saying Yes to. And therefore the real pleasure becomes frightening.
QA240 QUESTION: I’ve been feeling cut off from my higher self for what feels like a long time. Whenever I try and meditate or talk with myself, I am very aware of a very strong No. And I’ve been unable to focus any kind of a question to help me move from that. This may be connected to the fact that I have to decide soon what to do next year. There are a lot of possibilities and I don’t have any sensible way to approach it in a clear way. I thought they might be connected.
ANSWER: Yes, there is, of course, a connection. But it is also true to say it the other way around: you cannot make decisions as long as that No is so strong in you. You cannot even see the ways and the possibilities and the meaning of each choice at your disposal. Nor can you really feel what you truly want, what would really be the right thing for you, what would really bring you fulfillment and happiness, and would make you fulfill your own task in the best possible way.
You could not connect with this awareness unless the No is transformed into a Yes. It is very important in your Pathwork that you find the misconceptions of the No and that you pray and intend to change the No into a Yes. That is a possibility that you always have. It is a choice you can make.
Now, I have one specific piece of advice here for you, above this specific task of saying Yes rather than No. And, of course, this applies to everyone who is in a similar position. A great deal of resistance to pronouncing the Yes exists because you doubt that your Yes will have power. You know that your No has power because you experience its result immediately.
When the psyche is conditioned for many, many centuries to say No, that reality is already ingrained. In order to create a new reality, a Yes-reality, a reality that is joyous and light and loving and beautiful, it requires many Yes’s and the patience to wait that the power of the Yes will gradually take effect. That gap is a gap of faith.
If you think your Yes must bring an immediate result, you cannot afford to say Yes. Because then you will feel too powerless. You will despair that only the No has reality. So you stay with that No. But if you realize you have to travel through the gap of faith and patience, to wait for the Yes to take effect, you can begin saying Yes right now.