QA188 QUESTION: For the past thirteen years, I have had rheumatoid arthritis, and all of my life has been affected by this. I’d like to find out anything at all that would relate to this.
ANSWER: The only help that would be valuable for you would be if you would embark on a path of deep inner search, because anything that I would say would be like an oracle, and it would not really help you. I cannot give you a label answer, like karma or something like that. That is too cheap.
The only way you can make a meaningful answer is if you discover deep within yourself, a deeply hidden rejection of life, a negation of life, fright of your own inner life processes. Now, if this makes sense to you, if you are sufficiently connected with yourself that you know somewhat – perhaps sense a little bit the truth of this – then a good beginning can be made. Do you feel at all what I said to you?
QUESTION: Umm, oh yea.
ANSWER: Now my advice here then is that this very condition I described here in your soul, in the processes within you – this negation of life, this fear of life – must be explored and worked on very painstakingly. I am speaking much more of your own inner processes rather than life outside although it will by necessity also affect the latter. But this is the primary fear.
It requires deep work and a very great commitment on your part to do this in order to really change this in your innermost being. And that, of course, is a decision that you must make.