96 QUESTION: I will ask for a private session to ask how to improve my shortcomings with a view to becoming worthy of a reunion with my husband, who passed over on April 5, 1960. I ask you with all my heart before such a private session to please contact my husband over there, enabling him to contribute his very special desires and instructions concerning my growth. I ask from all my heart to be given not only an outline, but also specific guidelines adapted to the limits of a human being still held down by the physical body. I have hardly made any progress beyond recognizing my shortcomings and would be grateful for indications of additional shortcomings not yet recognized by me.
ANSWER: My dear child, I will be very happy to make contact with your spouse. But let me tell you something I can see so clearly. Do not be so frantic. Do not believe that your efforts – commendable and advisable as they are – depend on your finding your mate again. This is not so! If it were, the Creator who made the world that way would indeed by cruel. You can rest assured in the certainty of the love that is Creation. You believe in God’s love, do you not?
QUESTION: I can’t overcome the rebellious feeling that God took my husband.
ANSWER: Yes, my dear, but do you not see that because of this inability to accept you are so frantic and compulsive. Without the rebellion, you would not need to flagellate yourself so much. No one can truly develop in such a frame of mind, no matter how hard they try.
If your incentive to develop is based on fear of not seeing your mate again, of not being good enough, this very fear is a product of your bitter, unreasonable rebellion. And on such a foundation growth is really not possible. Therefore, you should first work on this very rebellion and subsequent frenzy.
You make the rebellion and frenzy your incentive for growth. These unhealthy, self-destructive emotions have to disappear before you can begin your ascent. So what you have to learn first is acceptance of reality. If you were more accepting of the world, you would be more accepting of yourself. And if you were more accepting of yourself, you would have more trust in life, in the life force, in God, and in the wisdom and love that Creation is.
Your lack of acceptance makes you blind, self-centered and fearful. Only in learning acceptance can you attain the state of inner relaxation that is so badly lacking. This does not mean that you should not strive for development. In fact, this is the development you want so badly.
Every step on the path of development requires different emphasis and different subjects to tackle. There can be no question of further development for you unless you master this step now. Who can possibly accomplish anything, even the most insignificant earthly thing, in the state of frantic fear in which you find yourself, and which is a result of your rebellion!
I say this to you in truth: even if you should not work on yourself at all, but accomplish nothing more than letting go of your frenzy and rebellion, it would get you further than all the fault-finding and self-accusation, without letting go of the very situation that makes such self-accusation necessary for you.
The terror in you, which you cannot let go, is this very rebellion and lack of acceptance of life – and therefore also of death. If you absorb nothing but this at the moment, you will free yourself of so much. And believe me, your reunion with your mate does not depend on what you do or do not do. That is all I can say to you at the moment. For the rest, I shall be happy to make contact with your mate and will let you know.
110 QUESTION: I wanted to ask about restitution to the loved ones in the Spirit World. Apart from what you told us we can do, can we dedicate certain actions to them, or how can we help them to understand that we have understood, that we want to make restitution?
ANSWER: Whenever thoughts of truth prevail, coming from such insight, there is no difficulty of communication. Even with people in the body, you will no longer find it difficult to make yourself understood. Why then, should this present a difficulty, merely because someone has shed the earthly covering, the Earth-dress, so to speak?
There is even less hindrance, because a condensed mass of matter is removed, and so access to your thought material is more easily available. Thoughts of truth have the power of light, the clarity of crystal-clear water, and therefore penetrate all hindrances. Physical matter is much less of an obstruction – whether between two people in Earth matter or between one in it and one without it – than are psychological obstructions.
Once you have thoroughly understood your guilts because of your inner renewal and change, your understanding and increased scope of awareness will make you realize, without the shadow of a doubt, if a special action might be indicated, or if restitution should merely be in expressing your thoughts and changed feelings.
What counts is your inner understanding and your willingness to change, doing the hard work of overcoming the resistance; constantly being on the lookout for signs that your psyche resists such change; the recognition of your fright of such change, and the cause of it – where you believe that the destructive attitude is a necessary protection for you in order to cope with life. If you really see all that, go through all the stages that lead you to such deep insight, the change has already begun to take place.
In this change, restitution has already begun, even before you undertake any action of restitution, such as expressing your regret, such as making up in one way or another. In one instance, definite restitutive acts, that perhaps cause you some hardship, will appear as the solution – and you will do so freely and happily. In another instance, talking to the person, also in spirit, will suffice, provided the sincere will to change has been established and begun to take form by the process of discovering your fear of change.
If you truly want to make good for the wrong that you have inflicted, you definitely will find ways. Sometimes restitution will be made toward a person other than the one you have wronged. But the wronged one will benefit from that as much as if you would have done it toward him or her.
For, in truth and in divine reality, there is no difference between one person and another person. What good you do to one, you do to another. What bad you do to one, you do to another. Jesus Christ has said these words, and other great spiritual teachers have said it in different words. It is the human being’s blindness and error to believe that if you love another and are good to that person, that this loved person will not be affected by the selfishness, or cruelty, or indifference you commit toward an unloved one.
What you do to one, you do to another. The loved one is as much affected as you yourself are. By the same token, your good deeds, your productive attitudes, your genuine feelings affect all those who are open, who do not obstruct.
QA126 QUESTION: What is the best way to get in contact with people in the Spirit World?
ANSWER: I would suggest there is only one really constructive way and that is sending them your love without seeking a contact. Because such a contact may not be good for them nor good for you.
If there is this tremendous need for establishing such a contact, it should be investigated. What is behind such a need? For it is not growing, and it is not going with the flow of living, which must carry both participants to new shores – which does not mean disloyalty and forgetting. It is not a guilt you load upon yourself, of going forward and releasing a loved one in love.
Seeking contact is often a forceful holding back and may not be constructive at all. There is only one real worthwhile contact you seek, and that is contact with God. Contact with God means contact within, with your innermost being, your real self. Everything else is given unto you and must take care of itself.
Being absolutely in supposed need of contact with a specific individual may often be self-will and may happen out of motivations of which you may not yet be aware. Perhaps you seek to eliminate your doubts in a continuity of life by establishing such a contact. That may be part of an unconscious reasoning why this is such a necessity.
But life holds so much promise here in this realm and in another realm, wherever the love runs on. These realms of consciousness can only be fully explored if the psyche learns to go with the flow and not to hold back time.
146 QUESTION: We have all lost a friend recently who was very close to this work. I wonder whether we could be in touch with him, somehow?
ANSWER: The important thing is not being in touch with any specific individual in the nonphysical world, but that all beings, wherever they are, are in touch with that center of the innermost self that is universal. Everything else falls into place and unifies those who reach out in love.
To establish contact that way is not necessary, nor really helpful for anyone concerned. It shifts the emphasis from what is important to something that is really unimportant. I know that some people may be disappointed with such an answer and may erroneously believe that this is a rebuff or a lack of concern. My response seems denying because the concept they still have about life and the self is not geared to a universal understanding as yet.
Eventually they will see that there is really more truth and more love in putting the emphasis on all that furthers the contact with the one and only thing that matters: self-realization. Then love between individuals happens healthily and naturally, in the best possible way.
Contact with people who are no longer in the body cannot be a really fulfilling venture, ever. It must lead in some fashion to escape from the very emphasis that is so important. It is often sought to alleviate doubt and pain, but it never really does so in a genuine and lasting way.
QUESTION: But wouldn’t contact give strength to the deceased person?
ANSWER: No, no. People who are oriented toward striving and growth will have all the contact necessary in their own world. The same laws exist there as here. When you do not want to reach out beyond your limitations and erroneous concepts, no one in the world can help you. You know this perfectly well.
But the moment you do, help comes from all sides. Why should this be different in another dimension of consciousness? Love gives strength, and this can be extended and expanded no matter where individuals are. For that a manifest contact is not necessary.