QA250 QUESTION: Is there a possibility that a homosexual relationship can be as healthy as a heterosexual one?
ANSWER: This touches, of course, on a very controversial question in your age and in your society. For a long time in human history, the homosexual was persecuted and maligned. He was accused of being a criminal because of his homosexual leanings. The countermovement had to come in order to move mankind away from this attitude of moralizing self-righteousness.
Those who have been treated in this unfair and painful way were not helped to work on their issue and had to become defiant and rebellious. In the process of this reaction, often common sense went by the wayside.
There exists such a sensitivity now in this respect that every reference to homosexuality indeed being an inner problem, or a manifestation of one, immediately creates more defiance as well as discouragement, especially for those who feel themselves far away from being able to resolve this issue.
The fact that even biblical Scripture has been misused for the purpose of instilling debilitating guilt into people who happen to be homosexual, does not make it easier to approach this issue.
So I want to say, first of all, that all moralizing and sense of sinning must be eliminated from your consciousness in order to help your soul along the road it needs to travel. You also need to understand that all human beings enter this Earth with unresolved soul problems and that it needs many incarnations to resolve them. It is no different with homosexuality.
When you see a person turn to heterosexuality in a genuine, organic way, following true evolvement, this is the last stage of this particular aspect of development. Those who do not and cannot change in this lifetime may have more work to do along these lines. This work is often so subtle and requires so many different approaches that it is impossible to adjudge superficially and rashly.
It may also require different incarnations with totally different circumstances, as far as sex is concerned. This is no different from any other incompleteness in the human soul. This does not mean that such a person needs to abandon all fulfillment and all happiness. If this were true, no human being could ever experience any kind or any degree or any measure of fulfillment.
It means accepting that you, as all human beings, are incomplete; are here to learn and grow; need to make the very best you can with what you have and with who you are now, without self-judgement, self-rejection, resentments, defiance and self-deprivation.
So you should not abdicate all contact and physical experience you are now capable of having because of a false sense of sin and because of distorted religious principles. The fulfillment and pleasure you can have is actually often most necessary in order to grow out of the very conflicts that cause homosexuality.
But beware of the equally distorted defiant attitude that claims that homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality. You do not need to replace one distortion with another. Nor do you need to feel self-conscious and insulted when homosexuality is said to be a soul problem. You do not need to feel isolated, different or hopeless because of it, and therefore you can do away with all kinds of defensive exaggerations.
Now, let us consider for a moment why homosexuality is a spiritual and a soul problem. When you look into the universe and into all Creation, it cannot escape you that there can be no creation of anything without the male and female principles coming together. No tree could come about, no planet could come into existence, no living organism, surely.
It is no different with great ideas, new inventions, anything of value. Enduring reality and beauty are always a combination of these two divine aspects. The union between a man and a woman reaches far beyond procreation. It is divinely ordained. There is a merging possible on all levels of being that can never exist between two people of the same sex.
This is an inexorable law that can perhaps be best compared with the fact that a key can never be put into another key, but only into a keyhole. This may sound crude, but it is not. It demonstrates a law that pertains even to mechanical creation. You need to meditate about this because it is a fact of life, and understanding this will open many a door for you within.
It will remove this sense of sin and shame that makes you lean to an opposite stance – that of defiance and unreasonableness, namely to claim that homosexuality is the same as heterosexuality. The fact that few heterosexual couples comprehend the divine nature of sexuality between them does not alter the fact that they are nearer to where all created beings need to go at one time.
The fact that heterosexual problems exist as well as homosexual ones does not alter this fact either. You should beware of comparing self with others in a measuring and judging, “He is better, I am better, one is more developed than the other, etcetera.” This is always impossible and misleading.
For what one individual may have gained in his or her evolutionary journey, he may yet have to learn in other ways, as compared to others who may be opposite in regard to what has been accomplished and what remains to be accomplished.
Some time in the not too distant future I shall speak again about the spiritual meaning of marriage, about New Age marriage [Lecture #251 The Evolution and Spiritual Meaning of Marriage – New Age Marriage], about certain stages of evolution in this regard. Here I say to you that it would be desirable for all those who can only experience physical intimacy with one from the same sex, to leave promiscuity behind and at least attempt to combine affection with sexuality, to whatever degree this may be possible.
It is not true that promiscuity and a flip attitude about intimacy has no effect on self and the other person involved. It does have an effect, and I ask you all not to interpret these words as if they were uttered with moralization and judgmentalness. They are advice given in love and in truth.
Now, what exactly is the soul problem in regard to homosexuality? It is never just one single cause. Every ingrained problem must be a result of a combination of circumstances. We cannot possibly go into all the various combinations here. Suffice it to say that it is always a karmic residue that goes back usually several incarnations.
If it were not, it could be overcome with ease and speed. Anything that is ingrained and difficult to change is of longer standing. Therefore, the child is born into circumstances and to parents that make the appearance of this condition possible. This is referred to as the psychological factors which are believed to be the cause, rather than yet another layer of effects.
The underlying common denominator is always a separation from the opposite sex due to fear, hate, distrust, on the one hand, and over-identification with the opposite sex, on the other. Along with that goes a longing for contact with the same sex, and a strong denial of the longing for contact with the opposite sex.
These inner attitudes need to be changed, even if gradually. To begin with, these currents must become more conscious and less diffuse, so that eventually a real fusion between the sexes can take place. Out of this fusion between two individuals of the opposite sex, eventually fusion with the all can come about.
There is another spiritual law that is important to understand. It applies to this question as well as to many others. Important as it is to visualize a more perfected model regarding any life attitude, it must also be kept in mind that if the person attempts to forcefully live up to such a model of behavior, without having developed into this state organically, it is more harmful than when the more perfected attitude is not even perceived.
Let us apply this to homosexuality. If your knowledge of what I say here makes you self-rejecting, guilty and hopeless – if you try to force to be what you cannot yet be – you harm yourself. Yet, it is important to also be aware of truth and reality in a higher way of being. So it all depends on how you approach such knowledge.
It must always be combined with realistic self-acceptance and the understanding that involuntary processes give way indirectly. They appear as a natural by-product of your work to face every aspect of your being, all levels of your consciousness, with kindness, acceptance and love, with the knowledge that you are an expression of God and attempt, through such a path, to bring God into your material manifestation.
With that attitude, knowing cosmic truths about earthly matters, spiritual meanings about physical manifestations – such as sexuality, for example – will become an encouraging outlook that you can gradually grow into. In fact, you will know that one day, perhaps not in this life, you will become an expression of this spiritual meaning on Earth.
There is yet another aspect about your question. Creation is shaped in such a marvelous way that whatever distortions exist, in the process of working them out and transforming them back into their original way, even the distortion itself can become useful to the entire process of evolution, of the divine plan.
So, for example, some years ago I explained that the drug problem in your era is an expression of souls with certain defects, distortions and misplaced needs that are being fulfilled in a destructive way. At the same time, in the process of coming to the truth of the inner meaning of this problem of all the individual souls who fall into this category, the Spirit World makes very positive use of the distortion. The taking of drugs has opened spiritual doors to a great number of souls who would otherwise have remained totally cut off and dead to all inner levels of reality, to all spiritual aspects of life.
I do not want to be misinterpreted here. No one should believe that this means that taking drugs was recommended, for there is surely a much better way to opening these doors. However, as long as the conditions existed in these souls as they were, a large influx of spiritual reality – no matter how it was gained – came into a very materialistic world, into very separated consciousness.
Similarly, the souls who have not yet found liberation from their disturbed feelings in regard to the opposite sex were incarnated in greater number than ever before, all in one sweep, as it were, in order to fulfill a task through their very distortion.
It is necessary in your world, at this time, to keep down the number of births. If all these souls were heterosexual, many more births would occur than the Earth can accommodate now. I do not speak about the physical aspects of this accommodation that is very well known to your scientists. Rather, I say that these physical conditions that make more births dangerous for the whole of mankind are a result of the spiritual conditions behind the material ones.
The Plan of Salvation requires that the souls who now reach your Earth sphere are deeply wanted by spiritually highly developed parents who are aware of the deep meaning of such a task. This means spiritual, emotional and mental maturity of a heretofore unprecedented quality.
You prepare the way for such births by your Pathwork, often indirectly, through new educational approaches and new values that can be given on to prospective parents. When sexuality is entered into with entirely different attitudes and motives than previously, parenthood will also be approached and motivated by entirely different means.
This will make room for much more highly evolved souls to enter this realm, so that evolution can take its course. For this, the doors must be closed for less-developed souls, who will find a training ground in other spheres. When the doors for higher-developed souls will be open and the ground prepared, you will suddenly see that there will be enough food, air, space for everyone. For these commodities adjust themselves flexibly to the spiritual needs of the great plan.
The answer to your question went apparently far afield, but is really very relevant. For there is no point in answering it only on more superficial levels. I ask all of you who are at all interested in this topic, who are affected by it, to study my answer deeply and attempt to understand it on the deepest level possible.